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  • Writer's pictureLaniese Wallace

A Speedy Exit!

Hello Snackers, it is yet another week and I have some shit to tell you! Grab your favorite snack, cocktail, or whatever it may be that you enjoy during a good read because this story is ridiculous. Let me not waste any more time, let’s get into the shenanigans…

Have you ever told someone no? I hope you have. I understand that is not everyone’s strong suit, so I must ask. If you do not tell people no, I encourage you to try it sometime. It feels great. Moving right along! So, you all know your girl is single and I guess I can say semi-mingling, but it is rough out here these days. It is the entitlement for me, these men are out of control. Men, I am sure you can say the same about women as well. Dating in 2023 has shown to be very ghetto. Jesus, take the wheel at this point. Because hope and a prayer seem to be the only way someone with some sense may reveal themselves. Got damn! Okay, okay, I am being slightly dramatic…I have met a couple of very nice people recently and the vibes were great. This one right here is for the majority.

The dating app Bumble is a great tool to meet people. I personally enjoy it. Some people may say dating apps are only for one thing, sex. Or it is a one-a-million chance you find someone, but I have found Bumble specifically to be one of the better apps in terms of the “caliber” of men I come across. I also enjoy the fact that as a woman on the app, unless you match with someone, they cannot message you first. As a woman using Bumble, I am in control. They are great about safety and respect on the app. Culturally, they do an amazing job maintaining their moral pillars as a platform. Before now, I have met some amazing people I am still in touch with as friends actually. Great resource! Now, I said all that to say, this particular male specimen I met was NOT that. Let me explain.

I had been swiping and met this guy right…started texting and talking on the phone for a couple of weeks, but nothing crazy. Initially all green flags, cool. So, we decided to meet up. I always do a public place the first time, people are crazy you never know! 2019 was the cut-off for me, house visits the first time I see you are no longer an option. Post covid, life got weird, and I said no more. Anyway, we met up and though he was no catfish as far as his outer appearance, I just felt like the energy was off. However, there are always some nerves of course. I give grace and see where the night takes us. We had talked about many things in a two-week period, including sex. We had set the tone. So, when we met, we knew what type of time we were both on if that is where things led.

If you have been here reading this blog these last few stories, you know that “Just Admit the Shit” was about trying to get over a fairly recent situation that had me fucked up. So, I am not crazy about jumping into a relationship at this time. I have life going on right now, shit is wild, and I want my next situation to be healthy, to be for me. Until that comes along, if we get it in, that is what I am going to do. Therefore, when I and this male specimen met up, I was down.

Again, we had set the tone. We start off with a conversation and a massage, vibes are no longer weird, I am comfortable at this point. How we got to a massage and all, well homeboy lives in the beach cities of Cali, so we met at the halfway mark of each other. I was not driving to him. Safety is always first! After we chat for a while, he asks if he can get a hotel room. Again, we met each other halfway. We all know if a room is being purchased, the potential of some shit going down is much higher. Let’s be honest.

Back to the massage folks…it is nice and sensual; I am not complaining. We start kissing and I am like yeeahhhhhhh my pussy is not even tingling at this point. The chemistry is just not there. He continues to touch, and I tell him NO. The dreaded two-letter word. He asked, “What do you mean?”. I said, “I mean I am not having sex with you tonight”. The room went silent, immediately. When I say this man got up and put his shirt, socks, and shoes back on and left without saying one word, I am not joking. I had my Taser on me because no one is playing with people in 2023.

Yall, I was shocked…I have never in my life encountered an action so childish. Prior to him getting up to storm out of the room, I explained to him that the vibe was off, and the chemistry was nonexistent for me. Those of you who know me personally, know I do not sugarcoat what I say or what I feel. Especially regarding sex, if it’s not right I am not going to share my body or force any fucking thing.

I will always advocate for myself at any moment I may feel uncomfortable with the next step. Whatever that “next step” may be. Whether a relationship or a sexual interaction. But yes, this man really put his shoes on and left without saying one word. The reasons why men cannot handle a woman saying no in this type of setting, speaks volumes of the very standard that “men get what they want”. How a man handles rejection may look different across the board, given the individual. That is not one and the same, in my opinion. This man was peeling out of the driveway of the hotel parking lot by the time I grabbed my purse and was in my car. I did not get a goodbye, nor walked to my car to ensure I was safe, none of it.

The disrespect, he came for one thing and that thing only. This was not the issue; the issue was that “one thing” was not going down without some type of connection. When you meet someone in person things can switch up and that is okay. It is also okay for me to advocate for my body and what I do with it. Though we had set the tone, that tone changed. When that tone changed, that is the reaction I got. The moral of the story, be safe out here ladies and do not just go with shit because that is what is to be expected. You better believe I text homeboy, told him about himself, then blocked that ass as soon as I got home! Never in my life. Chhiiiilllleeeee!

Thank you for reading!

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