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  • Writer's pictureLaniese Wallace

D League Horror (Recently Deleted)

Since it is October and I am sharing my scary experiences lets continue shall we! Now this one is not a pleasant outcome like last week. A man taking out my tampon for me turned out lovely, who would have thought! But this one right here was ridiculous! Moving right along.

So I met this guy and he was looking right. Real charming and had caught my eye while I was out one night with the girls. He asked me out and I said why not. Told me he had to go out town and would have reservations made when he got back. Hence the title D League, he was a minor basketball player and was traveling around for the summer. Let me tell you, he was D League alright! Anyway, reservations were made at the best steakhouse in town. He definitely put on his A game out the gate. I was ready by seven, looking cute. We head to dinner and tried to decide on a movie afterwards. Decided Netflix was the move. I was honestly thinking I am the movie, but I told myself I would behave before I left the house. We head back to his place and we all know no one was about to watch what he put on.

He starts touching and clothes come off. Netflix, no longer relevant. He goes down on me and wasted no time. His tongue was doing great things, he was all in it. His fingers going in and out of her at the same time, I was like oh my! The way his eyes met mine at dinner I should have known. Homeboy was ambitious and thought he was about to slide in raw. I told him no, put a condom on. Now ladies if you are really tight please be aware of the risks. I shall elaborate on why in a moment. Moving forward…

We are going at it, switching into every position possible. He is deep and I am so wet the condom is no longer trying to stay put. He pauses a moment and I thought he was trying to keep his composure and refrain from nutting too quick, but no. He took the condom off and I said fuck it. He kept going and it felt too good, I was not stopping! He flips me over and finishes hitting it from the back. We both needed that breather afterwards, “you need some juice” type shit! He took me to eat, he ate me, he definitely did his thing. I was satisfied with the night. Honestly, both of us only wanted one thing and got just that. Little did I know I was leaving with a gift.

He dropped me off at home and I slept like a baby. I get up the next day feeling brand new. He did my body right and I felt great. My roommate and I had some errands to run, so we were going to be gone most of the day. When we arrived back home that evening, I am darting to the bathroom! My bladder is weak as hell. I always, always have to pee! So mind you this is the next day, the sex had almost happened 24hours prior to us arriving home from our day of errands. As I am relieving myself, I feel something feeling like it is trying to push its way out! I am freaked out, sitting on the toilet real confused. Every woman knows “the finger check”, so I check myself out and I find the condom I thought his ass pulled off. I realized it was no longer on him because my vagina swallowed it up! The condom was balled up sitting at the very top of my cave y’all!!!

I was disgusted, definitely frightened, and most importantly thinking real hard trying to figure out why the fuck D League did not remove it. I was furious. He knew he never took the condom off and really left the shit, like wooooow! Just up there big chillin with me all damn day! He really made reservations just for me to reserve a damn condom! I was mind blown. Gentleman be glad you have one hole in the front. Shit gets complicated as you can see! I had enough sense never to talk to him again. Needless to say I was not accepting an apology for that one. Flat out lazy and just rude! That was one souvenir he could have kept. If ever in doubt, do a cavity check! You just might have to pull it out!

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