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  • Writer's pictureLaniese Wallace

The Secret Aura!

Snackers, we made it! Ya girl was going through some things this week, but here we are. Better late than never. This week is all about tapping into our feminine energy in the spirit of Women’s History Month as March comes to an end. Let’s get into it…


Have you ever been asked what is your secret?


I always say there is no secret, but as I get older, I have realized there is great power in femininity. One dear sister of mine would always ask, “How do you do it? How do you pull the men you do? I need to know”. Now, before we jump too far…we are talking about men that look good on paper. Unpacking that topic is another snack for another day! I will say to my men, it is okay to embrace your feminine energy. As women, we must be sure we are also creating a safe space for those practices as we expect men to do for us. We all deserve a soft era. Moving right along…Another dear sister of mine would always say, “It is your aura. It is the way you carry yourself and embody being a woman”. I never really understood how powerful that was until recently.


Though this entry is not about luring in men, I wanted to highlight a few areas to give my ladies a boost of confidence. The tips and tricks if you will. Single ladies stand up! But this also applies to any woman in any relationship. We need a reminder here and there…Why? Not all women function primarily in their femininity 24/7. Sometimes, we forget that is the very essence of our being that men enjoy. As humans, we walk both lines, between feminine and masculine energy. Some life experiences facilitate which of those energies we choose, function in, and are naturally displayed as more prominent than the other. Regardless of the technicalities of what is feminine energy. What is being feminine? How to embrace femininity? One statement known to be true is that a badass woman is universal!

As a woman, I allow the ambiance and atmosphere of a room to take my femininity wherever it may go. I may not have it all together as a young woman, yet I have found that presentation is everything. That presentation is not always physical appearance, though it is the appearance that meets the eye. Does that make sense? A lot of my friends call me “the auntie” out of the crew, simply because I do not always prefer to show a little skin. If I want to show skin, I will. Being sexy is not always about revealing items of clothing. It is the makeup of my being as a woman, the ability to shut the sexy on and off. That is my superpower. Femininity is fluid. There are no limits when water bends. That is the real secret.


I am the woman that shows up alone, will grab my own drink, and catch a vibe with no outside motivation. I take myself out on dates all the time. Though I am still growing into who I am as a woman…the work of finding out is most important. People see that, you attract alike individuals. Men see I am confident, sure of myself, can hold a conversation, and confident within my surroundings, women included. Lord knows making adult friends is not easy, energy is EVERYTHING.

My specialty is the ability to work the room while staying lowkey. That is what shines bright in a crowd. Though my days of having a full roster are long gone, somehow, I have always come across men of a certain caliber. Good looking, well-groomed, have higher status, are financially intelligent, and about their business. Again, good on paper. Stay with me! “I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke…”, you know the rest!


Many of my friends ask why I never ask a man “to do for me financially?”. I saw a post recently that said, “Real women do not ask men for money. The behaviors put you in a man’s budget”. I felt that! I have never had to ask. A genuine spirit, with good intentions, will carry you far in this life. I have been doing very well for “an auntie”. That statement is not to brag, it is factual based on my experience. Someone being asked to versus willing to, without having to ask them are two different things!


As we know, from a societal standpoint being feminine is being too soft, too emotional, and can be seen as less than. Which we also know to be false. At the end of the day, we all stem from a woman. Some of us have been raised by some badass women that have set the bar high. Such as the women in my family. They do not miss a beat when it comes to hair, nails, toes, clothes, the way they smell, etc. The Self-care is on lock! In turn, all those traits have been instilled in me. It only takes one example.

Ladies, it is okay to be confident and soft. It is okay to be nurturing and affectionately warm. It is not a crime to be emotional. Those are our strengths, embrace them. Do not let society tell you it is too much or a weakness. There is nothing more powerful than a woman’s touch in this world. No matter who you are, what you do, or whom you like, a woman is necessary. Now you go embrace that energy, keep your head held high, and let me know how it goes. You got this!

Love you all and thank you for reading!

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